English novel : Dear diary

Dear diary

Dear diary,

I don’t really know where to start…. I went to the movie theater with Elias.  No, I went to the movie theater alone and then I met Elias. Well, that's not really happened like that… I just wanted to see that movie but mom had this work meeting so she drove  me to the cinema and I really thought I'm gonna watch the movie alone I swear! Watching a movie alone never bother me. Like you guess, I didn’t watch it alone finally… I was sitting in the middle of the room when he arrived, he saw me and I don’t know why… Maybe he was just sorry for me but Elias said to me hi and asked me if he could sit next to me! I had a moment before I answered. I was surprised that he called me with my name! Well it’s kind of usual to call someone with his first name but what I wanted to mean is that: he knew my name, he remember it. We are in the same history class but we never talk… I remember his name because…you know…I find him cute…and when he looks at me I swear I can’t breathe… Anyway I was surprised that’s why I didn’t answer quickly. Of course I said yes.

We didn’t talk during the whole movie. At the end, when we were putting our jackets on, he asked me if I would like to see some other movies with him from time to time. I was all at sea! I don’t really know why I did that but I have taken a piece of paper out of my jacket and written the next movie I already planned to watch with the name of the movie theater, the date and the hours. I left so fast the cinema after that because I was so scared of what he could think about me, or tell… I didn’t want to have an awkward silence between us. He probably thought I’m crazy. I asked myself a million times if I’m really going to meet him at the cinema next time. I was afraid he wouldn’t come and stand me up. But he did and we started to see each other every Friday at the same time, and occasionally on other afternoons to watch movies together. I always smile like an idiot when I see him. I think I like him a little too much but I’m too shy to tell him.

I always chose cinemas far-away from our homes. I wanted to keep our special relationship just for both of us... and yes maybe I was wondering how he would react if someone of the school sees us together. Maybe he will be ashamed or maybe he doesn’t care of what people would think. I’m scared of being loved and being in love. I like him and I want to tell him but I don’t really know how…When he smiles I melt inside. I fell in love with him. I don’t know how, I don’t know why. I just did and every time I see him I fall in love all over again. If I say I love him, will he love me back? Dear diary, I’m going to promise to you that I will tell him how I feel even if perhaps he doesn’t feel the same way. First of all I have nothing to lose and for once I want to assert myself. I will let you know how it goes.

Your only friend,

Pembe  

                                                                                                                  -Nelly