Sketch : Detective story

Detective story

4 rôles : Mrs Smith/Détective/Médecin/Avocat

(at the phone)

M : Hello ! The M.E’s office speaking !

S : The what ? I didn’t understand.

M : M.E Medical Examiner’s office ! I would like to speak to Mrs Smith. Is she here ?

S : Yes, it’s me. Why ? What happened ?

M : Stay cool and don’t panic. I’m going to tell you something that may shock you… Maybe you should sit down somewhere.

S : Hum… Yes.

M : A dead body was found, the man looks like the description of your husband who’s missing since 3 months.

S : Ah… It’s too bad…

M : Could you coe to identify the corpse please ?

S : Yes, yes, I’m coming quickly…wait, I’m running ! (hangs up the phone)

M : Okay thank you.. Hello ? Hello ? Is there someone ? Anyway ! Bye.

(Detective come in)

M : Hello detective !

D : Hello ! A new dead ? Again ? Do you know the causes of the death ?

M : Yes, the autopsy was made this morning.

D : And…. ?

M : He’s been buried alive. Some soil was found in his lungs.

D : Hum… interesting !

M : Yeah I think so too. It’s been I long time that I didn’t have a patient buried alive !

D : I gonna find who did this. I always find out. I’m the best for that.

(Mrs Smith come in)

S : Hello, I’m Mrs Smith.

D : Who is she ? Is she a suspect ?

M : Not yet... She’s maybe the wife of the dead man.

D : Yes, a suspect !

M : Hello again Mrs Smith. I’m the M.E. So, here is the corpse. Is this your husband ?

S : Oh yes it’s him !

M : But your are happy ?

D : Suspect, suspect… I take notes.

S : He has been missing since 3 months, that’s why I couldn’t get his money ! You know, we didn’t know if was dead or just missing. But now I know. Yeeees ! He is dead. Wait a second, I call my lawyer fr all the papers.

« S : Hello, here is Mrs Smith.

A : Hello Mrs Smith

S : My husband is dead.

A : Oh I’m sorry for your lost.

S : I want to get the money 

A : Your fast… but yes I will see what I can do. I will call you back when I will

have more informations. Is that okay ?

S : Please can you do that quickly ? Thank you. Good bye.

A : Hum…yes good bye. »

S : Well, I’m going to leave now. Good bye ladies.

D : Wait wait wait… you are a suspect now. Would you answer some questions, please ?

S : No

D : It was not a question. So, where were you when your husband went missing ?

S : When was it again ?

M : Monday, January 26th at 3 pm 16 minutes and 32 seconds.

D : Wow that’s a definite answer !

S : How do you know that ? You killed him ?

M : No, I made the autopsy. I’m a M.E remember ?

S : Okay wait I check in my diary.

(The detective grabs the diary)

S : Hey, it’s mine !

D : So, January, 26th, 3pm. Hairdresser. Wait I check your alibi. (calls the hairdresser) «  So, here is the police calling ! Was Mrs Smith at her appointment on January, 26th ? Yes. 3pm ? Ok thank you »

No, she didn’t kill him. I’m so disappointed !

S : Of course I didn’t kill him ! And moreover, look at this. My knew cup is si ugly ! Now, I’m blond. You see that, blond !

M : Don’t worry, blond suits you well.

D : My only suspect is not guilty…

M : Don’t worry, you will catch somebody soon and anyway you arrested 3 people yesterday.

D : Even if she doesn’t kill him herself that doesn’t mean she is all clear ! She could have a complice.

S : That’s rediculous ! (checks her phone) Yes, my awyer is coming ! I’m going to get my money.

A : Hello I’m Mrs Smith’s lawyer. I had to come in person because… well it’s delicate. Who is Mrs Smith ?

S : Don’t tell me I can’t have my money !!

A : There is no money actually… I’m sorry to tell you that, but your husband had a lot of debts…hum..more than a lot in fact. I look your account and you don’t have enough money to pay back all this debts…. So I have the regret to annonce you that…but you have to go in jail if you don’t pay. And you can’t so… Maybe somoene can pay for you ?

S (crying) : Oh you would do that for me ? Please !!

A : Who ? Me ?! No way ! Sorry but it’s a lot of money even if you were my friend I wouldn’t help.

S : Please can someone help me... I wanted to be rich not ruined.

D : That’s mean I can arrest her ?! Oh I love that day !  You have the right to remain silent…

A : Everything you say can and will be used against you.

(The detective puts the cuffs on Mrs Smith)

D : But, haven’t you an idea of who wanted to jill your husband ?

S : Unfortunately my husband had a lot of secrets…

« Two can keep a secret if one of the is dead »

End

                                                         -Nelly&Svetlana